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What’s Holding You Back From Lasting, Positive Change?

We have to ask: what benefit might we get from negative, self sabotaging thoughts that lead to quitting, despite how great we were starting to feel? How could that “undesired” results possibly benefit us…”

Many of us move in the direction of positive change, only to loose steam and quit. What can we do to get ourselves onto a path of successful change and make that change stick?

It is important to understand that over time our “start and stop” approach to change can become a habit in and of itself so it will take awareness, perseverance and patience to let go of this pattern. It’s also crucial to recognize that this “start and stop” pattern is likely serving an important, albeit misguided, purpose.

Ask yourself: what benefit might I be getting from possibly sabotaging my efforts and quitting, despite how great I was starting to feel? What is behind the usual excuses of “something crummy happened in my life”, or “I forgot to be vigilant”, or even, “I just got lazy.” Perhaps we’re protecting our egos by saying “I never really tried, so I never really failed”. No matter what the reasons are, I believe they provide effective distractions from dealing with fear and anxiety. Going back to our old ways of thinking and behaving provides us with a sense of safety and security.

So what can you do about fear and anxiety? Well to begin with, figure out exactly what you are afraid of. Then take the time to work out a simple plan that moves you forward despite this fear. Fear is just a feeling after all, and it doesn’t need to control your thoughts and behaviours. Push through any anxiety by setting realistic, small goals towards reaching your bigger goal and acknowledge your efforts along the way. As well, hypnotherapy is an effective tool for reducing the fear and anxiety that is preventing the change you want. The amazing part is that just a little bit of change in your thoughts and behaviours in the right direction, will leave you feeling so much better. And this often begets continued efforts and even more positive changes.

If you do the work to identify what fears and anxiety have been unconsciously getting in your way, then before you know it, you’ll find yourself more positive, happy and motivated to move towards reaching your goals. If you have a day where you allow your fear to immobilize you, well that just means tomorrow is another chance to succeed. Track what you achieved every night before bed and re-set your intentions for the day every morning. Make the choice to share what you are doing with others as a way to hold yourself accountable, acknowledge the progress you’re making, and encourage others to create the same success in their lives too.


Written by

Michelle Chaytors, B.Sc., M.A. Clinical Counsellor, Adlerian Therapist, Hypnotherapist, Certified EMDR Practitioner.

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